sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
