I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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