:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
