Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
