Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
