i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
