Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
