apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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