Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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