i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
