I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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