You're my little dorito
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize