whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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