So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
