totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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