I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
