Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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