K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize