5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
