You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
