We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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