goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
