Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
