Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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