addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
