11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
