I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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