i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
