It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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