Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
