Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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