Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
