I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
