I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
