; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
