The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
