i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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