apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
