at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
