I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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