If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
