i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
