just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
