the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
