no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
