All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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