I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i believe in u and ur pee
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
