I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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