Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
