I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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