When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
